Archive for February 22nd, 2011

An update that will live in infirmary.

“’It feels like there’s a knife in my ears!’ Hey, enjoy the free WAVVES concert, kid.”

– The _____/_____ band WAVVES are a recently founded Seattle group who apparently have had concert performance troubles in the past, which led to the cancellation of their European tour. This is probably a reference to the incident, maybe it isn’t.

“his new brand of cartoonish offensiveness and contempt for the audience will be revolutionary, and O’James reminds him that the world already has one Sarah Silverman too many.”

– comedian Sarah Silverman’s most frequent topics are religion, race, and sex, typically addressed in a politically incorrect, inflammatory way.

“If only the Biblical warning against casting girls before Stine had been heeded.”

– in Matthew 7:6, part of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus preaches “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you”. This is typically interpreted to refer to the giving of a gift or blessing to those incapable of appreciating it.

“Only this time it’s different, as he’s going to be a better man. Yeah, I’ve seen this Tyler Perry movie and it doesn’t end well (for the viewer, at least). Thankfully however, Slappy does not offer pandering relationship advice while dressed as an elderly black matron, but he does try his best to try his best.”

– Tyler Perry is a stage and film director, probably best known for also playing his comic relief character “Madea”, the elderly black matron described. The character usually has a cameo in most of his films. If a specific Tyler Perry film is being referenced and “being a better man” isn’t just a common theme in his movies, it would probably be I Can Do Bad All By Myself.

“Frailty, thy name is wooden.”

– paraphrasing of “Frailty, thy name is woman” from Hamlet, during a soliloquy by the title character. Being informed of the sudden remarriage of his mother and Claudius, he attributes her actions and attitude to the weakly diaphanous character of women.

“poor Mrs. Kramer’s daughter, Maggie, who is now confined to a wheelchair, and how much a ventriloquism show would cheer her up. With a subtlety befitting the family’s namesake, Stine takes a plotline featuring a character in a wheelchair pretty much exactly where you’d expect. Maggie gets pushed down a hill and hits a van.”

– Presumably a switcheroo from Kramer/Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame to celebrated movie director Stanley Kramer, almost universally known for pathos-ponderers On the Beach, Inherit the Wind, The Defiant Ones, Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, Ship of Fools, and Judgment at Nuremberg. Unless, of course, it’s a reference to Kramer’s It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad World, which has the same artful touch as what just happened in the book.

“Hey, I like watching some squirrels too… *image* ”

– in the Halloween-themed episode Introduction to Statistics, of American NBC comedy Community, the character Britta, weary of tarty Halloween costumes, attends as a squirrel.

“Uh, if I wanted to sit through a work of fiction celebrating an insufferable asshole, I’d watch As Good As It Gets, and I would not watch As Good As It Gets.”

– in As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson plays an obsessive compulsive writer who passes off his dickishness as a part of the disorder.

“Slappy then enters Stella’s room and is hit over the head with a metal baseball bat. I don’t really know much about sports, but now that’s what I call a Slam Dunk!”

– In the sport of baseball, this would be a huge faux pas! In basketball, more appropriate.

“Unfortunately the blurry photo looks like Slappy is at worst short-sheeting her bed.”

– probably already covered, short-sheeting is a boarding-school prank. The victim’s sheet is untucked at the foot of the bed and folded back on itself.

“Q: Why are you so bad?
A: Because I’m made of naughty pine!”

– A pun of “knotty pine, the tree.

“That’s so funny I forgot to Lagerstroemia.”

Lagerstroemia, or crape myrtle, is a plant that generally flowers best in warmer climates.

“He then throws a vat of spaghetti at her. That’s (something less than) amore.”

– a reference and general tempo match to popular Dean Martin track That’s Amore, which draws a parallel between love and Italian food.

But the Twist is
Slappy wakes up. He is greeted at the airport by Jimmy O’James, who has with him Slappy’s two children. Slappy spins the top on the kitchen counter and the book ends before the reader can discern whether it fell or kept spinning.”

– a reference to the ending of the Christopher Nolan film Inception, which ends more-or-less as elucidated here (on a kitchen table)

“Or would that screw up the next Mad Lib-crafted Slappy adventure?”

– See Madlibs, previously mentioned.

“Jessica Valenti Alert
Slappy attacks another female victim by telling her she’s “hisssstory.””

– Jessica Valenti, prominent feminist blogger, already mentioned.

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